


as the timer ticks down

by gayneku



Category: Persona 3
Genre: (the character death is canonical), Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 00:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18953782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayneku/pseuds/gayneku
Summary: it feels like a countdown. like time is running out, like you’re rushing towards a predetermined end date, and you don’t know when or why or even what’ll happen, but you know you feel like you’re going to lose him.





	as the timer ticks down

**Author's Note:**

> this is so so old i wrote it years ago and just unearthed it going through my google docs and still kinda liked it so i decided to post it. im not really that into persona anymore so like dont expect more of this  
> also next on: actually why do i write in second person in almost all my fics

it is nothing less than impossible, the idea that death itself could be learn to be human and fall in love.

* * *

 

the second your eyes meet his, something in your life shifts. it’s almost as if you were never truly alive until that day, though that’s obviously nothing more than a cliche. but however cliche it may be, you feel… drawn to him. like you’ve met before, somewhere, maybe in a dream.

though, if you had met him before, you wouldn’t know it. your past is hazy, and every time you try to think too hard about it, your head hurts. it makes you uneasy, and you don’t know why.

* * *

 

you grow closer as the time goes by, closer than you would have thought possible in less than a month. he makes your heart beat faster and your breath catch, and shows you a side of him you’re pretty sure no one else gets to see. or at least, you hope that’s the case.

you flirt and joke and laugh to cover up the sense of impending… _something._ you can’t put your finger on it, but it feels like a countdown. like time is running out, like you’re rushing towards a predetermined end date, and you don’t know when or why or even what’ll happen, but you know you feel like you’re going to lose him. and the thought of that happening is so goddamn _terrifying_ it almost makes you wish you’d never met him, never fallen in love, never -- but the way he smiles as he says your name is nearly enough to drown out the fear on its own. it’s more than enough, at least, to make the fear worth it.

he tells you he wants forever and something twists in your heart. no, you want to tell him. no. you should not want forever with someone like me, i’ll destroy you in the end -- and you don’t understand those thoughts, you don’t understand why they’re in your head, you don’t _understand_ why words that should make you happy instead make you feel like the world is ending with you at the center of it.

* * *

 

you’re on the bridge, the moon large above you. there’s coffins everywhere and the world is the wrong color and you should be freaking out but this is _right_ this is familiar, even her being here, attacking you for a reason you don’t yet understand. and it hits you, all at once, who -- _what_ \-- you are. the haze is gone, and in its place, magnified a thousand fold, is that fear you’d done so well at pushing away. but this time there’s no smile, no soft words to distract. just the simple truth: you are death, you are what humans fear most, you are not something to be loved. and you’re going to lose him. who would have thought death could feel heartbreak?

ignorance is bliss, they say, and you’ve never understood that so well until now. you’d give anything to go back to not knowing, to before you remembered, to him -- to just have _more time._

* * *

 

you’re scared of so many things -- influencing his decision, causing him even more pain by getting closer… scared that he will see what you really are and hate you. so after explaining everything, you turn tail and run like a coward. you run for a month and on the very last day, your last day as a human, you return. you regret it as soon as you see him, the pain in his eyes, and realize how much you _missed_ him. but it’s too late now. once again, you wish you’d had more time, but you can only blame yourself now.

you can’t stand to see him hurting. you ask, _beg,_ for him to kill you, do everything in your power to convince him, all the while knowing nothing will be enough. you know he won’t do it, just as you couldn’t bring yourself to if your places were switched.

* * *

 it’s the end of everything and he’s so small, standing defiant at your feet and staring up at you. it would be so easy to crush him like an ant, and yet… there’s something in you that holds back. there’s a part of you, however small, that’s still human, that _knows_ him, and it’s that part that hesitates and gives him the opening he needs. it’s funny, you think, he was so adamant about not killing you before. it must be hard for him to deal the final blow now, but he does it anyway.

* * *

the part of you that isn’t sealed away is nothing that’s ever existed before. you retain your human form, but it doesn’t seem like anyone living can see you. and you are definitely still death. you become something like the human legend of the grim reaper, and you wait, and you watch over him, until he comes home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated, and im on tumblr at autisticesper if you want to find me there


End file.
